As American as Apple Pie on a Stick

The State Fair is here. It's a summer tradition that I love, because it captures the innocence of simple American pastimes: baking contests, animal size contests, produce size contests, carnival rides, and the most disgusting and fascinating food I eat all year. I believe that Minnesotans love food on a stick because it exemplifies two truly American qualities:
1. We worship at the feet of inventors, no matter how trivial their product. It shows good ol' fashioned ingenuity! It takes a good imagination to think of new types of food that can be eaten off a stick.
2. We will eat anything as long as it's deep-fried. And it takes deep frying to keep these food item stuck to their sticks.

Here is a list of the choices for food on sticks at this year's fair:

Bull Bites (blackened tenderloin tips with horseradish sauce) eww
macaroni and cheese on a stick This could be good, depending on the cheese?
chocolate chip cookies batter dipped, deep fried and served on-a-stick yum
cajun seasoned alligator sausage on-a-stick I would never do that off a stick
chicken on-a-stick too simple
hand dipped caramel apples on-a-stick I've had those...caramel apples are always on sticks!
Cheese on-a-stick I don't like plain cheese
Pork chops on-a-stick and I don't like pork
oriental lemon chicken on-a-stick interesting
cotton candy on-a-stick It's always on a stick! That's false promotion
corn dog on-a-stick ditto
Batter dipped, deep fried candy bars on-a-stick (Snickers, Milky Way, Three Musketeer) If they had 500 Grand, I would do it!
deep fried Oreo cookies I think I need to try it
chocolate covered bananas on-a-stick I did this last year
Eggs, ham, sausage, toast, sweet rolls, pancake wrapped around sausage on-a-stick blech!
Rocky road scones on-a-stick (caramel, chocolate, marshmallow) Yummy! I want this most. I love French Meadow bakery.
Batter dipped deep fried fruit on-a-stick Aww, that's sacreligious, to deep fry something healthy!
fried jalapeno pepper cheese on-a-stick yuck
Dixie wings on-a-stick Hmm...
Frozen key lime pie dipped in chocolate on-a-stick Last year. Not bad.
rueben on-a-stick I just want to see it
Tater tot hot dish on-a-stick with cream of mushroom dipping sauce Same
spaghetti and meat balls on-a-stick This too
Puff Daddy on a stick What is this? If it is Puff Daddy deep fried, I will eat it:)
Scotch Meatball on-a-stick These gross me out off a stick
Batter dipped deep fried hot dogs on-a-stick (6", 12", 18") Who needs a foot and a half of deep friend hot dog?

What would you like to try? I will be eating some of those foods, only because they're novelties and part of the overall fair experience. I will also take part in the tub-of-cookies eating next to the all-you-can-drink milk booth concept. My friends are so smart!